And Then There Was Night

There is a new world developing inside of me. My mind is creating a new symbology, giving birth to characters… Little people are running wild in my head, playing dress-up, baking cookies, showing me where and how they live. So, naturally, I’m having trouble sleeping.

The thing many people don’t know about the creative process is that it can be torturous. Sometimes my mind gets fixed on something that feels like a numbing loop of ideas and I have to fight past it to get to the good stuff. Then there are those moments like the other night when my brain sparks all over the place like it’s trying to crack some kind of code.

For the most part, I’ve learned to maintain a kind of order to the madness. I usually know what sets me off, and I try my hardest to keep some sort of peace within myself. Although I do work well under a certain amount of pressure, I really don’t like being in panic mode. Most creative personalities have some kind of balanced system. Some people thrive on chaos, others on silence. Some seek large crowds, others solitude.  However, there are always outside forces that come around and f*#k with the system. It’s not unmanageable, but it can be pretty frustrating.

My mind never really stops. It’s hard to disconnect from what’s going on in my head. I think it’s why so many creative creatures tend to be a little awkward in social situations. Sometimes we’re trying to mimic social behavior, sometimes we’re too honest and it just rubs people the wrong way. And so much of the time, we are just balancing two separate realities: the one inside of us, and the one outside.

The creative mind is a delicate ecosystem. We have our tricks for survival. With time and age we learn to tend our gardens and make nice with the neighbors, but our animals are never really locked up. Sometimes the tiniest stimulus can get our minds racing and barking so loud we can’t sleep!

Tonight: Melatonin.

One Response to “And Then There Was Night”

  1. So true! Thanks for writing this.

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