I underestimated the wind yesterday morning, left the house wearing a thin jacket, and had to climb back upstairs to fetch the fat one with the faux fur lining. I’m sure I lost about two minutes doing that. I jumped on the subway, got off on my stop and exited up the wrong staircase… the one on the north side instead of the south. I wasted about 45 seconds there.
My bullshit tolerance has reached its boiling point this week. Something is off. I’m not one of those people who really cares about “wasting” a minute here and there. A minute or two spent going up and down stairs to grab a warmer jacket isn’t just good for my glutes, it’s good for my soul. I sincerely enjoy those little moments when I’m not really doing anything.
Before I started blogging, I wrote journal entries on occasion and saved them on my laptop. I tend to protest most during the winter. I detest layering clothes and I don’t handle the gray very well. Either all my chips are in or I’m apathetic. Winter slaps me in the face with a constant reminder that I’m an idiot for being here in the endless gray, suffering through a season intended for polar bears and the white witch from Narnia. But winter accomplishes something else as well, something that in my opinion brings out my more respectable traits… It pisses me off.
There’s an incredible amount of noise and bullshit that surrounds us and there’s nothing that puts things into perspective quite like being angry. I am terribly sick of self-centered cockiness and all the disconnected people who regurgitate bullshit from books & subscriptions. There’s a major difference between intelligence and the desperate need to always come off as if you know everything there is to know about the world. Life, for me, is about living, doing, connecting to others, supporting each other. If you haven’t learned to share and listen, take a class at the Y. Otherwise, please keep away, at least until April.
As much as I hate feeling this way, I also welcome the healthy dose of rage that comes with it. I know I’m a little bitter, whatever, but when life isn’t great on the outside, it makes me turn inward, find my power animal… Slide.